Update: Demonworld 6 and Heavy Metal Thunder App

Dear readers, I know it seems like the world has grown dark and all Kyle B. Stiffs have been lost. In an endless labyrinth of enslavement, the tale of Wodan has become only scattered fragments, a faded poster on a broken down bus, a chipped action figure clutched by a skeletal hand on the edge of a battlefield… you get the idea. Oh, the frustration that Demonworld Six is not yet available to the public!!!


Well, here’s one piece of good news. My gamebook, Heavy Metal Thunder, is being turned into an app complete with music and illustrations by Cubus Games. I’ve been hard at work beating this thing into shape and making it worthy of the attention of the human species. We’re hoping for a release date at the end of June for all iProducts.

As for Demonworld Book Six: The Love of Tyrants, progress is being made, I assure you! I have to interact with the outside world more than I used to, but I’m researching ways for introverts to sustain and preserve their energetic life-force so that after an introvert clocks out he can truly unleash his New Age juices onto worthwhile projects. Demonworld Six is a beast, a monster, what people in the industry call “a large book”. It’s taking all I’ve got to keep things on track (note: things haven’t been kept on track very well), but I’m hoping it will be available by the end of the year.



In the meantime, if you’re already a fan of Demonworld, then tell someone else about it. There’s no need for people to be reading a bunch of ridiculous nonsense written by jokers who don’t really care about their fans and, let’s face it, have probably written less than fifteen books before they started picking up massive checks and going on long vacations. And if you haven’t tried Demonworld yet, then… what gives?! The first book’s free!

Kyle B. Stiff Gets Robbed!

Don’t worry, this isn’t a post about how I’m getting “robbed” by not drowning in money from Demonworld sales. No, I’m writing this to let my precious readers know that Demonworld Six is going to face delays because my little hobbit house got broken into by a gang of meth-crazed goblins. Rich people live only a few blocks away, but I think the thieves could sense something amazing going on in my little hovel. Fortunately they didn’t find my computer (sometimes it pays to be paranoid), but they cleaned out just about everything else of value. Me and my wife are doing everything we can to move to a more secure location, which is no small feat when your budget looks like it’s about ready for an autopsy. I can already see that I’m not going to get a lot of writing done for the next couple of weeks. Forgive me, dear readers!

yukio mishima patriotism

But here’s how you can help. Just send money to… no, wait. Scratch that. If you really want to help, take the padlock off your reinforced gun cabinet. Dust off that old set of body armor you made so long ago. Put your superhero cloak on and hit the streets. Hit the streets HARD. Look for anyone walking around saying things like, “This Xbox 360 I stole is the greatest!” or “What kind of idiot hides his money in a jar with the rest of his loose change?” Take no prisoners, readers! Hunt them down! Let the world know what happens when you rob a poor writer and delay Demonworld Book Six!

Don’t you worry, dear readers. They better bring a bazooka if they want to put an end to Demonworld!

Where’s Demonworld Book Six?!

By Kyle B. Stiff

Now that everyone is good and pissed off after waiting for Demonworld Book 6, I guess it’s time for a status update. Meaning I need to roll out some excuses for everyone to roll their eyes at.

Now, I’ve got a reputation as a fast writer. For those of you who haven’t been keeping track, I’ve knocked out some Demonworld books in as short a time as one month. Less than three months for a book is standard for me. For a series that takes place in a fairly large world, has a big ol’ cast of characters and organizations, and features only the occasional misspelling or awkward wording, that’s faster than fast.

South Korean illustrator Woo-Jin Oh

South Korean illustrator Woo-Jin Oh

So why have readers had to wait nearly six months for the latest installment?!

Here’s what’s been keeping me busy.

ONE: For me, Demonworld has always been a money-faucet turned all the way up. But after finishing book five, I decided that I wanted to make even more money. Hey, I have yacht payments too, you know? So I figured I would do some “marketing”. After putting a lot of time and effort into market research and an analysis of search engine analytics and networking with those-in-the-know, I found out that I suck at marketing. In the end, it’s one of those problems that may be best solved by throwing money at it. So that’s on the backburner. If you’ve heard of Demonworld without seeing a poster of Wodi on the side of a bus, then congratulations! You’re one of the few, a select minority who can find the good stuff on their own.

By Souther Salazar

By Souther Salazar

TWO: I thought it would be a smooth move to make Demonworld hardcopies available at Amazon through Createspace. This is still a great idea, but I didn’t realize how much work it would be. I jazzed up a lot of the covers, I fixed some errors that my team of in-house editors and proofers somehow missed, I played around with font size and spacing and all that stuff – and they’re still not perfect. I have multiple iterations of Demonworld proof copies, but they’re just not good enough to be placed into your hands. Since toying around with them is not especially fulfilling work, I’ve decided to shelve that project for now.

St Cecilia and the Angels, 1836

St Cecilia and the Angels, 1836

THREE: In an effort to get something featured in Kindles Singles, and thus make a ton of money in an extremely short amount of time, I wrote many, many short stories. And I mean a lot. I’ll try to make them all available in some form. What I’d really like to do is make some covers for them and then give them away on Amazon. (Oh, and don’t worry: They were all rejected by the Singles program!)

FOUR: This is the real kicker. Now, a lot of you guys that read Demonworld might not know about Heavy Metal Thunder. It’s a sci-fi branching narrative gamebook inspired by those old Choose Your Own Adventure books (and Joe Dever’s Lone Wolf series, which was even better). I’ve had a lot of people attack me on sight because I haven’t yet given them a second Heavy Metal Thunder book. Well, I’m tired of the beatings, so I decided to knock one of those out. This isn’t as crazy as it sounds, Demonworld readers. Truth be told, I knocked out the first five Demonworld books so fast that I needed a break! But, worry not: I’m nearly done with HEAVY METAL THUNDER BOOK 2: SOL INVICTUS. If you haven’t checked it out yet, but you’re a fan of Demonworld, then you should give the first one a look. Even though they’re two completely different series, it’s a stone-cold fact that in a few years’ time it’ll become apparent that the two series aren’t completely unrelated.

By Moebius

By Moebius

In fact… plot-twist time… little Wodi’s struggle in a world haunted by flesh-devouring demons may really be one battle in a war that spans other times, other worlds, other dimensions, and even other species.

(Kyle B. Stiff falls limp after blowing his own mind.)


But now, down to brass tacks. I should be completely done with HMT2: SOL INVICTUS by the end of July. Demonworld six is a monster, and so is seven, but I’ve got my notes all in order. I can’t give an exact due date on either of them, but expect both of them before the end of this year. I’ll try to finish up hardcopies after that, and then … and it feels strange to say it… then we’ll finish Demonworld books eight, nine, and ten sometime in 2014.


After that, I’ll be pressured by the Powers That Be into changing everything about Demonworld before it is turned into a movie in 2017, which will be called A SONG OF HOT AND COLD: BOOK ONE: A GAME OF DEMONS 3D, in which the character of Wodan will be replaced by explosions and Michael Bay-style Transformers.