Hideo Kojima Saves America with Bluepills in Death Stranding

Part 1

By Kyle B. Stiff

The world is a battlefield between rival ideologies and occult groups. As I watch movies and play games and break down their hidden meaning, I can usually depend on Japanese stories to be free of what we call “Illuminati” symbolism, whereas Hollywood movies push the symbolism so hard that it’s kind of a joke at this point. But Death Stranding is an interesting case because left-leaning Illuminati ideology is on full display.

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This will be a relatively spoiler-free breakdown that only covers the first half of the game. Please note that despite giving him a hard time, I am a huge fan of Hideo Kojima. Like a lot of artists who naturally pick up on cultural vibes, he’s allowed liberal indoctrination to slip through his AT Field and infect his brain. This doesn’t keep him from being an amazing entertainer, nor does it prevent Death Stranding from being a great and interesting game, but we have a duty to point out cringe when we see it.

I’m sure we can all agree that testosterone is a divine hormonal matrix that only some of us are blessed to wield. It grants the wielder the power to tell a story fearlessly, rather than doubt oneself endlessly until death comes to silence our fears. From the beginning of Death Stranding one can’t help but notice that Kojima is getting older and his testosterone levels are dropping. His Metal Gear Solid series had military dudes, bombastic soundtracks, bouncing tits, button-mashing during torture scenes, guys shitting themselves and getting stuffed into porta Johns, “Nanomachines, son!”, child soldiers committing based war crimes, babies born on the battlefield, and so on. Death Stranding tones it down a notch with sedate music and the idea that if somebody gets killed (or even dies), it results in a voidout that can destroy an entire city.

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Rather than a proper end for a wild ride, death is seen as a disaster, which is an opinion free of testosterone. Remember, being smart and avoiding danger may seem very clever, but in the end it can only get you in a nursing home, lying in bed trying to put together the pieces of an identity that is beyond repair. It is a fate fit only for bugmen.

Ah, but we were talking about the lefty perspective in Death Stranding, weren’t we? Let’s move on to characters!

 

President Bridget is Hillary Clinton

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Sam’s mother represents – of course – none other than Hillary Clinton. Not as a bug-eyed psychopath and queen of cringe, of course, but as the warm, empathic, and divine feminine Mother Goddess that liberals see her as. Her name, Bridget, signifies that she builds bridges, not walls, which is either inspirational or cringe depending on your perspective. Sam’s first mission, a very poignant slog in which he must carry his mother’s corpse to an incinerator, is reminiscent of the absolute dark night of the soul felt by liberals at having to bury the dream of Hillary as President. I’m trying to be diplomatic so I won’t comment on what the rain in this mission represents. Bridget (and Hillary) were supposed to put America back together again, and the people scrambling to keep her alive, and then cover up her death, represent the mainstream media going into overdrive spinning a narrative to galvanize the populace.

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Die-Hardman is Barack Obama

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The way this guy looks and carries himself is a great indicator of how liberals see Obama. Rather than the stuttering dufus who needed a teleprompter to speak to school children, or a low-T Indonesian married to a linebacker packing some serious cucumber, here we see Obama as a barrel-chested alpha who runs the UCA after Bridget’s unfortunate passing. As in real life, this guy just won’t go away. Also note that in his mask, Die-Hardman looks a lot like this alleged pic of Obama dressed as some kind of goofy Illuminati demon:

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Sam Bridges is an Everyman Boomer DOOMer

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Everyone living in the ruins of America is stuck isolated in bunkers, unable to connect with one another in person but addicted to texting page after page of nonsense for the player to trudge through, but Sam is a boomer who can get things done. If he was born in our era, he would mow the lawn at six in the morning, request seating in a restaurant, and pay off his kids’ credit card bills. He gets things done as only old people can.

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However, Sam lives in his own era, which means he’s contracted the same fatal autism that everyone else suffers. He’s afraid of physical contact, he has trouble communicating, and he even collects action figures. He wants to abandon the old world but he’s literally chained to his job. When Sam is given a BB (“baby”) and it starts having flashbacks to its real father, we get the sense that Sam is in an extremely bluepilled “my wife’s son” type of situation; however, Sam does have some old school backbone, because he’s the only man in the UCA who protests aborting the baby. He knows the baby is more than just equipment – or more than a clump of cells, as they say in our era.

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Now, don’t get me wrong about this bluepill stuff. I’m not saying that Kojima is a lefty NPC relentlessly pushing whatever Hollywood says must be pushed. Obviously he’s not, or his games would be unplayable. But as an artist, as a creative type, his brain is an antenna made for picking up on the cultural zeitgeist and then remixing it through the prism of his own unique self. All artists do this. Kojima was called to tell a story about the conflict happening in America right now, and since that conflict is so complicated, we are forced to pick sides so we can take narrative shortcuts. There’s nothing wrong with this; we have to be able to identify friend or foe at a glance, and that’s why our current conflict can be broken down into Redhats versus Bluehairs.

Unfortunately Kojima leans left in Death Stranding, which can be off-putting when gamers are in the mood for a heroic tale about a man slaying the enemies of America in a ritual of purification and reunion. Even though Kojima has revolutionized package handling gameplay just like he did stealth gameplay, a lot of gamers have been underwhelmed. And I can see why: Gaming is inherently redpilled and right wing. You can’t slay monsters and save the princess by bending over for them, otherwise you end up with something like Undertale – a sappy, sentimental mess with a notoriously toxic fan base. Considering its goofy level of pacifism, Death Stranding is dangerously close to crossing into territory where the unindoctrinated cannot go.

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But as I said earlier, protagonist Sam Bridges is not a total lefty strung out on mood enhancing drugs. Kojima makes an effort to turn Sam into a Christlike figure, whose blood is redemptive and capable of cleansing the nation. Just as Jesus Christ was able to drive out demons and unclean spirits, Sam’s blood can be used in an alchemical process to kill or drive off BTs, which are the spirits of the dead. (I may be wrong on BTs being ghosts since I haven’t finished the game yet.)

This is of course the heretical idea that people can save themselves. One NPC even explicitly says that he doesn’t believe in grace or miracles – only people. Which is like saying you believe in books but not authors. It’s peak liberal enlightenment. The only way to make it more liberal would be to have a drag queen telling it to a child during government-mandated storytime. Another NPC in a long, rambling email even calls Sam the Great Deliverer. It’s a throwaway line, but it makes sense for a materialist bugman to see the Amazon delivery guy as a messiah. I’m hoping that later on in the game we will be introduced to some characters who challenge Sam’s role as the Mail Messiah the same way the AI in MGS2 challenged Raiden’s belief that he was a real person rather than a mere video game character.

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Fragile Is Every “Basic Bitch” Liberal Wahmen

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Mainstream media is pushing bug-eating to the point where it’s become a meme. In order to get you eating bugs and living in a pod, they have to make it seem cool and futuristic rather than dystopian. Remember, as long as you have guns, they can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. Once you demand that your own guns be taken away, then, of course, they can do anything they want to you. But the first few times Fragile meets Sam, she constantly forces bugs on him. She can’t stand to see a man not eating bugs like some kind of scavenging vermin! We’ve gone from MGS5’s alpha supreme Kazuhira Miller selling burgers pumped full of based chemicals to Sam eating maggots that turn him into a hormonally deficient pod-dwelling urbanite sipping Starbucks and hashtagging about Orange Man Bad!

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Fragile’s interview sums up the liberal mindset. I’ll print the entire paragraph because it has several eye-rolling moments…

“We once had a network spanning the whole wide world that could send items from anywhere to anywhere, and connect anyone with anything. But still we were isolated – still we were alone. Some liked it that way, and even wanted more. They wanted walls along their borders, wanted to turn away refugees and outsiders.”

Not only does the email accidentally acknowledge that connecting online does nothing to alleviate loneliness, there’s also the cringe misunderstanding that enforcing basic border control policy and protecting the people within a nation is somehow a moral outrage. In fact her interview kind of reminds me of a celebrity tweet, like Alyssa Milano crying to let her followers know they are supposed to get angry because the nation they live in hasn’t collapsed on schedule. Also the idea that letting in the third-world will somehow end our loneliness is a really low IQ take, since the American experiment has shown that ethnic groups tend to form impenetrable enclaves rather than interact in any meaningful way.

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One more thing about Fragile and her female nature. Not only is her superpower instantaneous travel (what woman wouldn’t kill for that ability?), but… and this is a SPOILER (until the end of the paragraph)… she is forced to run through a timefall mostly naked, so her body is unnaturally aged. MGTOW types who are beyond sick of women often talk about the Wall. Not Trump’s Wall, mind you, but the concept of the Wall is that when a woman’s beauty fades, her power comes to an end. It’s incredibly sad and is far beyond what your typical bluepilled lefty can handle. They desperately want to believe that beauty is a state of mind available to everyone rather than a genetic lottery win given only to a few. The truth is that not having it is a drag and losing it is devastating. Not gonna lie, I cried during that scene!

I’m looking forward to learning more about Higgs, the man who forced this fate on Fragile. Is he evil, or just a bitter incel who wanted to permanently end Fragile’s Instagram career?

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The BTs: Reconnecting with History Is Terrifying to the Bluepilled

The BTs are a surprisingly conservative threat. From my perspective as someone who hasn’t finished Death Stranding, I can only say what I currently know about BTs, but they seem to be the spirits of the dead interacting with the living. Interestingly enough, for a game about making connections and breaking down borders, the main enemy, BTs, are border-crossers who are so dangerous that America cannot exist as long as they exist. You have to choose one or the other: Get the United Cities of America up and running, or keep importing BTs. You can’t have both.

The symbolism is so obvious, they may as well be wearing sombreros and trafficking guns, drugs, and sex slaves!

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It’s also interesting to note that the arrival of BTs is marked by a reverse rainbow. It’s very telling that Kojima uses the “woke” symbol of public CBT parades and drag queen storytime to let the player know they are approaching a gateway to the world of death. I feel like the fact that blue is missing from the rainbow has something to do with Democrats losing control of their own ride down the slippery slope.

Could Kojima be channeling the reversal of the rainbow as America’s slide into a sexual free-for-all continues? Remember, this happened before, in Weimar Germany, where you could pay to experience any and every sexual kink – even stuff that we would consider progressive now. The grasping hands of the BTs become even more frightening when you consider that they might have in mind something far worse than killing you!

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There’s something for liberals to fear about BTs, too. Being dead, the BTs represent spirits of the past – dark spirits from dark times. Looking back at history is one of the great fears of the modern enlightened liberal. History is non-utopian, thus they can only view it through the lens of complete indoctrination, which says that all history is BAD. Taking a nuanced look at various groups of people trying to survive under conditions that were not ideal is not the strong suit of liberals. Just think of how many liberals (especially women) you have heard say they’re afraid to look into their family tree because they might find Nazis or KKK members – the ultimate boogeymen of children raised on Hollywood movies!

That also makes chirality in general a very shocking idea in such a bluepilled story. Once the United Cities of America is reconnected, theoretically anything from the past could be 3D-printed. That means that the key to saving America (and the world) lies in reconnecting with history. From a liberal perspective, this makes absolutely no sense. Why would you want to reconnect with something that wasn’t progressive and isn’t the current year? But from a conservative standpoint, it makes total sense: You have to reconnect to a time that made sense, to a time when we knew what worked, in order to have a solid foundation on which to build the future.

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Stranded from the Almighty

In the world of Death Stranding, much like our own, communities have broken down and people live in isolation. They are addicted to mood-enhancing drugs just like we are. People are no longer hormonally capable of creating something as simple as oxytocin, a “cuddling hormone” used for social bonding, and must take a synthetic version. Because zoomers did not heed the wisdom of boomers regarding “cell phone bad” most people can only interact through “chiralgrams” or holographic facetime vids. Every NPC seems bland and lifeless until you walk away, then they bombard you with texts littered with emojis.

Kojima’s depiction of humanity gone insane is surprisingly subtle given his track record of over-the-top characters. When you consider games like BioShock where everyone infected by the Hot Topic virus becomes a juggalo clown from the dark carnival, or Badlands where cringe behavior is considered the norm, a story about people becoming asexual genderless freaks afraid to form bonds with one another and are no longer breeding is surprisingly and subtly redpilled. If Death Stranding showed unlimited immigration and ethnic groups forming uncommunicative enclaves and a “hatespeech” police force cracking down on people who point out the obvious, we could even say that Death Stranding is the redpilled game of 2019, especially since Doom Eternal’s release date has been pushed to 2020.

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Or not. Death Stranding is incredibly interesting but it is definitely not redpilled. It’s about connecting people, but broken people who connect with other broken people only find ruin and regret. This may seem odd to the modern gamer, a technophile with an unexamined love of science and who seriously believes they have outgrown the need for ritual and tradition and the rough traits that turned their ancestors into survivors rather than bugmen, but anyone who drifts so far from their own creator that they believe they were created by accident will of course end up on mood-altering medication. Mental illness is the inevitable result of distance from the mysterious force that sustains us. To the modern gamer who collects Star Wars figurines and anime memorabilia much like a Death Stranding MULE collects packages while “jacked up on a cargo high”, the drift into darkness and depression is subtle and seemingly inevitable. There is of course the sustaining belief that if we can just make it through the darkness of Kali Yuga we will eventually arrive at a utopian Star Trek future, but oddly enough, this belief is more fervent and unconscious than anything practiced in a seemingly-backward traditional community.

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More to come! As I continue my journey through the game, I’m hoping Higgs and Cliff Unger will give me more of a right-wing take on Death Stranding. I’m really looking forward to reaching the west coast and meeting what they call “crazy men” or homo demens. Leave it to Kojima to have “gay demons” waiting for the player in California!

 

I Was Shot to Death While Watching JOKER! 10/10 Would Get Shot Again

By Kyle B. Stiff

What Black Panther is to African Americans, what Captain Marvel is to feminists who don’t watch superhero movies, what Thanos is to normies, Joker is to us… gamers? I mean Nazis. I mean incels. Or whatever the label is… let’s just say it’s the people who know civilization isn’t dying, it’s being murdered.

And we know who’s doing the killing!

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Mainstream media has been warning us about Joker, and for good reason: It gives voice to people who are sick of the degeneration of civilization. It’s been obvious for a long time that Hollywood is a cult, and it’s their job to present a gospel of life improving through lefty values and diversity indoctrination. That’s their job. They want us watching Captain Marvel and Disney Star Wars, not Joker, and they’re willing to push the idea that incels will shoot up a theater full of incels (huh?) to get their way. Of course, we all know what’s going on. We know civilization isn’t collapsing because the traditional values that have guided nations for thousands of years suddenly went past the sell-by date and now we have to make a frantic switch to atheist feminist Communism or else the world will burn up.

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But before you get too excited about Joker – and it is worth getting excited about – let’s get one thing straight: It’s not conservative or right-wing or trad or anything like that. It’s not even what Blade Runner 2049 was for us (a story about the Last White Guy doing his job and being hated while the world falls apart). While the creative minds behind Joker were definitely tapping into the collapse and the outrage we feel, that collapse and that outrage are still shown from a deeply left-leaning perspective. Remember, Thomas Wayne is rich and says insensitive things about the poor, Joker requires “free” mental health counseling, and the rioters carry signs that say RESIST, which is the battle cry of the Anti-Drumpf Orange Man Bad NPC Elite.

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In fact, Joker kind of reminded me of Back to the Future 2. Remember how that movie strangely predicted Trump’s presidency, as well as his ability to travel through time? Through the character of Biff Tannen, the makers of Back to the Future 2 clearly knew what was coming. However, instead of seeing it as an interesting cultural event and an opportunity to prune back the weeds of liberalism spreading through college indoctrination and Hollywood propaganda, the makers of that film saw it as a dystopian hellscape where white biker gangs roamed the streets shooting at teachers without any clear reason. Really, go back and look at that movie. It’s never explained exactly why the future is so dark, why white people have suddenly turned into violent savages – they just kind of did, and somehow it was Biff Tannen’s fault!

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So it’s a case of the oracle receiving a message from the gods, but the message is fractured by the unfortunate retardation of the human medium. While Joker is undeniably appealing to conservative men who feel impotent in the face of societal collapse, Joker is actually a snapshot of a liberal man lost in a sea of raging emotions and without any sort of rational compass that he can use to get a reality check. While we each retreat within our opposing bubbles, Joker is kind of an unexpected re-acquaintance with the lefty mindset. The fact that conservative men can relate just shows how tolerant and empathetic they are – imagine that!

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Remember, this movie was made by someone in Hollywood, not outside of it. Without doing any research, I’m going to go out on a limb (but not really) and say the director is a lefty, probably Jewish, and he thinks President Trump speaks a coded language that “dog whistles” (love that goofy term) secret messages to white nationalists and Russian handlers. I promise I will not even take the ten seconds required for a Google search to see if I’m right or not – I mean, do I need to at this point?

Anyway, the point is that this story is going to have a lefty slant to it, so I think Joker is a great example of what a liberal male would do if he was in the same position that a lot of white, conservative males are in. Unlike Officer K who kept going to work and pushed his emotions deep, deep down, Joker lashes out with unrestrained emotion. This dude even climbs into his… but I won’t spoil it! But god damn, guys – he really climbed in that thing, didn’t he?!

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The way Joker got a gun is a perfect example of this story coming from a liberal perspective. This paragraph will be a little spoilery, sorry. But Joker essentially has a gun forced on him by an alpha male who calls the ethnic kids who beat him “savages”. This is a liberal nightmare in technicolor – they don’t see gun rights as something that a person can choose to opt out of, because they don’t really understand choice. Sorry guys, but it’s true. The idea that a white bully would force someone to take a gun is top shelf liberalism, it’s something only they could imagine. It’s the same way you and your buddy don’t hold each others’ dicks while taking a piss. Your unit is yours, and his is his. But liberals tend not to believe in free will, and they think people can be converted to bad ideas without effort. That’s why they’re so big on censorship, banning, and deplatforming. That’s not a critique, that’s just the way it is.

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The fact that right off the bat we are shown that Joker is mentally ill favors my hypothesis. It’s kind of a meme at this point, but as long as you don’t get in a liberal’s face and accuse them of being mentally ill, they will readily discuss their collection of mental illnesses. Most of them are quite open about whatever it is they happen to have, whether it’s depression or anxiety or Asperger’s or ADHD or gender dysphoria or whatever. Most conservatives don’t get excited about having a mental illness, they don’t think it’s cool or interesting, in fact they tend to see it as something that should be overcome rather than something that adds spice and flavor to personality.

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Another great example of the liberal perspective is the bullies on the train – the business suit-wearing alpha males. This scene struck me as a little unrealistic, but I think it really shines a light on the liberal perspective. Years ago I lived in DC and I used the metro all the time. I was comically impoverished back then, and everything I wore was donated or bought from a thrift store. I saw lots of upwardly mobile suited types on the metro, and they never gave me any trouble. In fact, they ignored me, because they were interested in their own lives, which is understandable. The only trouble I ever got was from… well, how do I say it without getting in trouble? We’ll say “urban youths”. We all know this is how it is, but I think the liberal pain in this scene is very real. They feel a kind of visceral rejection by the world of business suit-wearing alphas, and they imagine that yacht-riding CEOs like Tai Lopez or Dan Bilzerian are laughing at them, secretly mocking them because they aren’t a part of the ultra elite .00001 percent. I used to assume that we were all laughing at elites, but these days I’m finding out that most of you guys are grinding your teeth at them, masking your envy with disdain.

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This paragraph is going to be somewhat spoilery (sorry). But just look at how badly Joker wants Thomas Wayne to be his father once he realizes the possibility is there. This whole situation makes me wonder if the basic liberal mindset is one formed by paternal neglect. We’ve all seen their irrational hatred for President Trump, a primal revulsion so over-the-top and so continual that we know it doesn’t come from rational disagreement on policies – in fact, Trump virtue signals liberal values with the best of liberals, and has done so for decades. We kind of suspect that the hatred comes from some kind of *intense* childhood trauma, because we can’t think of anything else that works on such a deep level. This makes the scene where Joker reads his mother’s file so powerfully moving (spoiler coming up, spoiler spoiler). He was a nobody, from nothing, with no father, abandoned by his mom and abused by strange men. Not going to lie, I cried!

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Of course, that makes me wonder if lefty extremists just feel unloved in general, not only abandoned by parents but perhaps abandoned by something even more profound. Maybe even abandoned by God. Do their bitchasses just need to go to church? They certainly have a visceral hatred for one religion in particular, the same one villified in Hollywood movies and on Netflix. When was the last time you heard a lefty complain about Islam or Judaism?

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I loved Joker, but of course it was always a stretch to hope that this movie would perfectly snapshot the anger of conservatives or right-wingers or groypers or trads or Chads or shitposters or volcels or incels or even the bowl cut enthusiasts or whatever the fuck you want to call the people who see patterns and aren’t NPCs waiting for the next goodthink update from the powers that be. Maybe despite his emotional instability, that’s what makes Joker our representative in this era: He sees patterns, and the thoughtpolice are afraid because they think Joker could be the spark to light the powder keg because he’s not afraid to snap. He’s not afraid to be the one to start the chaos that we all know is coming anyway.

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But who am I to say this? I’m just a guy who got shot in a movie theater. That’s right, dear readers – I’m already fuckin’ dead! As the credits rolled both exit doors popped open and several three-man shooter teams rolled up with heavy heat. “We’re a lone gunman!” they all shouted as they unloaded 5.56 ammo directly into my face. “Don’t report a three-man shooter team to the police, that really messes up the narrative! We’re just one white guy!” they repeated, as they reloaded and fired into my face again and again, spaghetti and sauce shooting from my ruined sinus cavity as heavy rounds tore through my skull. A few rounds even sliced through my guts and interacted with the refreshing diet beverage I’d been drinking just like they were Mentos, and the ensuing chemical reaction caused the Diet Garbage Juice to erupt from my bullet-riddled tubing like some kind of science experiment gone awry. My jaw shook convulsively as my teeth were pulverized and I think they imagined I was talking back, and that really pissed them off. Chunks of wet meatloaf flew from my bullet-battered skull as CIA and Mossad concentrated their firepower, living in absolute terror that their victim would not be one hundred percent on board with their dumb plans for world domination.

But it wasn’t all bad. I was just happy that Joker literally mentioned SOCIETY at the end!!!

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Rambo V: Last Boomer

In Which John Rambo Traps Blue-Haired Liberal Critics in His Tunnels and Hunts Them Down!

By Kyle B. Stiff

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I’m a big fan of Rambo, but I didn’t want to see Rambo: Last Blood. Being a product of Hollywood, I assumed it would be about John Rambo going on one last mission to help Mexican prisoners escape from Trump’s concentration camps while executing police officers and ICE agents in the name of diversity. I assumed the script would be written by James Gunn (the director of Guardians of the Galaxy) or one of his clones, and would include a lot of “witty banter” between “delightfully dysfunctional” social outcasts. I hate that stuff and I wanted to remember Rambo as he used to be, before Hollywood became the propoganda arm of a cult ten thousand times worse than Scientology. However… as soon as I heard that people were getting triggered over this movie, I had to see it for myself!

And, guess what – it’s beautiful!

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Rambo: Last Blood isn’t exactly a great movie, but it’s the very thing that we needed. It has a simple story, but the timing of its release, and its focus on narratives that liberals hate, is like a lighthouse beacon for the human spirit tossed in a storm of retardation that is destroying civilization (guess I’m taking the kid gloves off with the hyperbole here). I won’t spoil anything, but the basic gist of the movie is that John Rambo is living a quiet life dealing with the demons of his past (meaning: he got to commit a lot of based war crimes back in the day), he has a niece that he dearly loves, and she gets involved with Mexican gangsters – that is, human traffickers. If you’re liberal: Yikes. Fucking YIKES. “Uh, Yikes Department? I need to file a fucking claim, please! In fact my name is Karen and I need to speak to the manager about this shit!!!”

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Every liberal film critic hated this movie, but lots of normal people (that is, unindoctrinated people) liked or even loved it. Maybe this is obvious, but sometimes it’s good to state the obvious: The entire narrative of this movie simply cannot exist within the liberal narrative of how the world works. In the liberal world, there are no Mexican drug cartels or human traffickers. There are only disenfranchised people who were not properly served by society, and therefore they must I repeat MUST be allowed to come into America. Unfortunately they can’t, because our President (who is Literally Hortler) is enforcing regressive, archaic, outdated border security laws, and is even putting Mexicans into concentration camps, including Area 51. There may even be ovens and execution squads at these concentration camps, who knows?

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Since Hollywood is one hundred percent on board with this narrative, Rambo: Last Blood hits hard because it somehow came out of the very machine that’s been retooled to ONLY churn out stories that fit within a lefty narrative. Having rejected any sort of traditional religion, and yet still being human and thus requiring some kind of religion (or at the very least, a moral framework), Hollywood has chosen DIVERSITY. “Have you heard of diversity? It’s our strength!” Within that framework, a movie that shows Mexican gangsters keeping young sex slaves drugged and confined is downright blasphemous! It doesn’t matter that this movie also has good and heroic Mexican characters; no, within the extreme leftist narrative, you are not allowed to acknowledge that a Mexican is capable of immoral behavior. It would be like saying that diversity isn’t our strength – which it is, if you haven’t heard.

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Last Ride of the Boomers

It’s been said by those wiser than me that the zoomers will be our salvation, but Last Blood is kind of interesting in that it shows a boomer getting his shit together and squeezing out enough testosterone to mow down some bad guys just to help a defenseless girl, even rocking his boomer jams while he does it. In a world where right-wing guys are beyond sick of putting up with female troubles (some are even going MGTOW) and left-wing types praise women only when they act like men, it’s nice to see an old guy butcher some bad guys in the name of chivalry. One of the bad guys even says, “Only an old fuck would come back for some cut-up bitch.” It’s sweet and strikes a deep chord, especially among guys who have a protective instinct that they aren’t allowed to use. We can’t even compliment women or hold the door open for them, much less form militias and blast suspicious border-crossers to protect women who, let’s face it, never really understand how unbelievably dark the world can be.

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In some sense, the warrior mentality idolizes females even though (real talk) they don’t deserve idolization, but it’s kind of a “necessary lie” that holds civilization together. But civilization is falling apart. Rambo’s niece Gabriela was on her way to college where she was probably going to major in Socialist Gender Theory with a minor in Antifa Combat Tactics or “How to Hate Everything (Including Yourself)”. This beautiful young lady who loved her family and her Uncle Rambo would most likely come back home for the summer overweight, her hair either blue or shaved off, with a nose ring and a bunch of tattoos, leading some indoctrinated soyboy on a leash, and berating her Uncle Rambo for his  toxic masculinity. I’m trying to be spoiler-free here, so I’ll just say that whether Gabriela was going to *have a very bad time* with Mexican drug cartel animals or have her soul mutilated by left-wing cultists, she was fated to be sacrificed either way.

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There’s a lot about Last Blood that isn’t great, but its timely nature definitely takes it out of the “okay” category and makes it far greater than its otherwise plebeian nature might have warranted a few decades ago. The shots of Trump’s wall and Rambo’s improvised Mayan revenge ritual alone make it worth our time. In an era where every movie exists only for indoctrination purposes, I don’t know how this one slipped through.

This imperfect movie taps into our very real need to protect what we’ve worked so hard to build, because we’re powerless right now. Every day we see these cultists tearing down one institution after another. Despite what you might think, people aren’t dumb. They know society is falling apart, and they know it isn’t because traditional values, which have guided civilizations for thousands of years, are suddenly the cause of our downfall. Most people can’t articulate it, but they instinctively know that people with blue hair having emotional meltdowns because an election didn’t go their way is not normal. They know that there are certain things that seem to make crime rates skyrocket, and they don’t want their neighborhoods to become scary places where kids can’t run around and have fun, and they know the blue hairs and the professors and the obnoxious celebrities aren’t going to help. And these very loud weirdos aren’t trying to debate the merits of their ideas, either; they rely on shutting down dissent through censorship, and using emotional histrionics to control weak people and bludgeon strong people into submission. The meme “Are we the baddies?” definitely applies.

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I have to admit I got a kick out of Rambo’s creator being very vocal about how much he hated this movie. It’s one of those JK Rowling moments where the creator is desperately virtue signaling in order to remain relevant. JK Rowling is the most prominent representative of this pattern, which is especially amusing when you consider the “problematic” nature of her Gringotts goblins and the stereotype they represent. Whatever the case, I’m sure it’s tough when everyone you know is a lefty, and your entire reputation depends on how hard you virtue signal in public. I can’t imagine how miserable it must be!

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CONTROVERSIAL ENDING

Anyway, when the credits rolled, I hit the exit and unexpectedly met a three-man shooter team preparing to blast everyone in the theater. I’ve played a lot of Metal Gear Solid games so I was able to use my knowledge of stealth to hide and listen in on the black ops team.

I distinctly heard their commander say, “Remember – no Hebrew.”

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I feared the worst, but the attack was suddenly called off, and I followed the killers behind the theater. They had a mobile command center set up around some innocuously labeled vans, and I saw a drugged-up white kid sitting on the curb, his eyes glazed over from a pharmaceutical cocktail that enhanced his MK ULTRA training and his willingness to be a patsy in yet another “active shooter” incident.

I watched as the shooter team fell to one knee, bowing to a holographic image of George Soros in a black robe.

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“Master,” said one of the killers, “why must we stand down? If we want to disarm the American people, or at least convince them to disarm themselves, then you know we must have more shooter incidents!”

“Of course, my young padawan,” said Emperor Soros. “But our surveillance of the theater revealed that only ancient boomers are willing to go to a matinee showing of Rambo. Nobody cares about a bunch of white-haired old men!” Before the shooter team could break down into tears after losing the opportunity to shoot a bunch of people and blame it on a drugged up white kid, Emperor Soros smiled and licked his lips.

“Postpone the mission until JOKER!” he said, cackling like a cartoon-villain.

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I broke out into a cold sweat, dear reader, and I got the hell out of there. I’m looking forward to Joker, but I’m not looking forward to being shot, so hopefully we’ll have a few more false flag attacks and… er, that is, I mean I hope we have a few more actual shootings before Joker so we can all be disarmed before it hits theaters. That way we won’t end up in the inevitable situation that *everyone* is predicting!

I’ve always wanted to live my life as a disarmed slave anyway, and if Hollywood can help out with that, then I’m all for it!

 

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Alita: Battle Angel Is a Right Wing Trad Morality Play

By Kyle B. Stiff

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It’s no wonder the corporate overlords who dearly wanted us to accept Captain Marvel hated Alita so much! The story, an adaptation of a manga birthed in 1990 (practically the Reagan 80s!), shows us the dystopian hell we currently live in from the perspective of a good old-fashioned hero’s journey narrative which must be considered right wing – at least, from the modern perspective of far left extremism which has become the norm.

This one’s going to be a D*O*O*Z*I*E so please prepare yourself.

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As soon as she wakes up, it’s obvious that Alita isn’t an angry “don’t need no man” feminazi. She accepts Doctor Ido’s direction and she enjoys learning about the world she’s in. Ido, her adoptive father, represents the Patriarchy. He creates strict rules of conduct for Alita, including what she can eat and when she can leave the house. Sounds awful, right? The thing is, Doctor Ido knows the brutal truth about the world. He’s seen so many Scrapyard denizens get their heads beaten in and their limbs sold on the black market that he’s practically blackpilled and can no longer entertain any notions about the inherent goodness of humanity. But since he’s a good man with a strong spirit, knowing the truth about the world doesn’t make him bitter, it makes him generous and sympathetic to people with hard luck stories. That’s why he treats a laborer’s cyborg arm for nothing but a bag of oranges. He’s like a country doctor from the Norman Rockwell era. Of course, from the modern liberal perspective, he’s problematic (if not a Nazi) for not letting Alita live life on her terms. (Remember, from the left’s perspective, old is bad and stale, young is fresh and progressive.)

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But Alita is a strong-willed lady, and eventually she’s no longer satisfied with being Ido’s “precious little girl”. The conflict between them is interesting because Ido doesn’t understand that Alita has the sort of warrior spirit that can handle the harsh truth about the world. In fact, she was made to fight. Ido could keep chipping away at the evil that lurks in the shadows, but in the end, he’s never going to get anywhere. Why is that?

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It’s because – and write this down if you don’t know it already – men are capable of existing on the fringes, but women are the gatekeepers of the mainstream. Men can spin their wheels perfecting arguments for whatever they’re into, but without women, no movement will ever go anywhere. In terms of the contemporary culture warfare, conservative men can shitpost about liberal meltdowns and diversity malfunctions all day long, but until women start posting trad selfies on Instagram and writing blog posts about church picnics and advice for keeping anal fisting vids off of a child’s smartphone, you’re never going to hold your civilization together against endless hordes of indoctrinated diversity cultists and professors who hate their own nation. So even though it seems like a bad idea to let Alita see the truth, Ido has to trust that he’s not alone in his fight against lawlessness.

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There’s a plot point that could almost be its own story arc within an anti-feminist narrative that begins when Alita finds out women are being targeted by a serial killer. This is her bluepill moment – “Never trust men.” Then she finds out Doctor Ido goes out late at night, and comes home wounded – “Don’t even trust your own father!” Alita follows Ido and sees him stalking a woman – “A helpless victim!” Alita stops Ido from killing her – then Alita nearly chokes to death on a melon-sized redpill when she finds out the “helpless victim” is actually a member of a gang of murderers targeting Ido because they’re sick of him taking down criminals. Alita ends up in a vicious battle against a sickle-wielding, man-hating fembot, and even defends her own father. The analogy of zoomer ladies waking up to the feminist narrative kind of writes itself, it’s so obvious. It’s also worth noting that the fembot’s sickle echoes the sickle of the angel of death, the grim reaper, and the dark god Saturn worshipped by the elites, as well as the hammer and sickle of Communism, as well as the crescent of Islam. Hmm… that’s weird, it’s almost like symbols reveal truth, and our arch-nemesis always carries a sickle.

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Alita demolishes her opponents and saves Ido. So while Alita is a strong female, and it might seem weird that this movie wasn’t pushed by the left, just remember that it isn’t really “strong females” that feminists or lefties want to see in film. They want to see women beating the shit out of men (who are all rapists) while wearing sunglasses and showing no emotion except cold fury. Alita is far too warm-hearted to exist within a feminist framework. She likes her neighborhood and her dad and eating food for the first time. She’s emotionally stable rather than broken or dead inside. When compared to Captain Marvel’s “Karen who wants to speak to the manager” personality, it’s night and day. This story comes from a bygone era, continuing sci-fi’s long tradition of showing strong females, but without the gender studies course in victimization.

In fact, near the end of the film when Alita’s problems are piling on top of her, Ido tells her, “Never feel sorry for yourself.”

Talk about anti-feminist! Um, isn’t, like, figuring out how you’re a victim kind of the whole point?!

 

THE SAD TALE OF HUGO

Now we’ve got to talk about Hugo. Hugo may seem like a Chad who’s smooth with the ladies and knows all the cool joints, but the key to understanding him is knowing that he has ingested a toxic dose of bluepills. His sad fate is imminent and unavoidable. His character is perfectly laid out in the scene in which he takes Alita on top of a building. “Look at that view,” he says. Alita looks out over the entire Scrapyard, which is a total dump, really, but she says, “Wow! Really cool!” Hugo then corrects her by saying, “No, look. THAT view,” then points out Zalem (I think that’s what it was called in the film version). Zalem is a floating city where the unseen rulers of the Scrapyard dwell. It’s assumed that they live lives of ease and plenty, far above the petty squabbles of the earth. Hugo desperately wants a new life in the floating city, whereas Alita is capable of seeing the mess of the real world and accepting it as it is.

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Hugo wants a better life, but one of life’s most important lessons is that there is no such thing as a “better life”. Accepting the world as it is, even though it’s imperfect, is the essence of what is called the redpill. History has shown us time and again that you can never “immanentize the eschaton” or create heaven on earth, as it always ends in misery and death. Historical examples include every Communist revolution.

Hugo’s state of mind is the unfortunate result of liberal indoctrination. “You going to live by his rules, or yours?” he asks Alita, challenging her to throw off Ido’s shackles and live in a state of absolute (and unrealistic) freedom. Also look at his scrimmage sportsball game in which men and women play together. His game results in men constantly dunking on women, yet he is somehow oblivious to this frequent occurrence. Perhaps he believes that all men and women are interchangeable athletic units that can be mixed and matched without limit?

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Hugo is the ubiquitous lefty “useful idiot” you see so often defending the very people who want to enslave or even kill him – which would be Vector in this story. Vector is the liberal elite handing out dreams of a better world as he works toward monopolizing all wealth under his control. Vector is the reason “useful idiots” ends up scratching their head when every Communist revolution results in brutal dictatorships where wealth is controlled by those at the very top while those at the middle and bottom get to live in a police state or in death camps that will later be hidden by mainstream media and lefty academia.

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However – Hugo is not a bad person! This is very, very important to understand. Conservatives spend way too much time arguing with liberals who are notorious for being unable to defend their views outside of the academic bubble. Twitter and YouTube are great examples of mainstream liberals backed by corporate powers pushing goofball opinions, only to be mocked ruthlessly by right-wingers and even just unindoctrinated moderates, who then have to be censored or de-platformed in order to stop any counterargument. It’s easy to get angry with the powers-that-be, but in some sense it’s intensely cruel to argue with liberals who actually need to be protected, not beaten. They’re not the enemy. In fact, like Hugo, they never had a chance!

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It’s interesting to note that when Hugo is being hunted, he runs to a church. Hugo runs to the thing that represents shelter, sanctuary… actually the pillar of civilization (sorry atheists, it’s true, even if the turbodweebs in lab coats disagree). Once Hugo is in church, he’s no longer the strutting “ehhhh who makin da rules aroun here” tough guy, but a remorseful, lost soul who finally realizes he is imperfect – that is, sinful. He stops telling himself a bullshit story about how great everything is going to be (at least for now) and is finally honest about what he really is. And since Alita doesn’t live inside a manufactured bubble, but is in touch with the harsh nature of reality, she is able to accept him as he is.

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Now, this may be a stretch (as if the rest of this piece isn’t a stretch), but when Zapan puts Alita in a situation in which she has to kill Hugo, it’s a perfect example of conservatives letting themselves be controlled by corporate interests. Zapan fools her into doing the equivalent of directing her anger at indoctrinated liberals rather than globalist corporations and international players who hate independent nations (especially America). Of course nobody except the people at the very top give a damn about the GDP, but modern American conservatives have found themselves in the odd situation in which they support giant corporations – and guess what, those giant corporations support open borders, importing cheap foreign labor, even abortions on a mass scale for the selling of organs and tissue. It’s always odd to see conservatives fighting for corporate rights, but then again, maybe it’s not that odd because I guess I used to be one of those guys. In this scene, Zapan is nothing but a corporate whore. He’s a narcissist (“My face!”) who doesn’t give a damn about anyone’s life, but he has Alita in a moral bind; he perverts her natural aggression, which should be directed at true evil, by directing it at poor dumb Hugo.

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But once they get Hugo under control (sort of), Doctor Ido once again writes a prescription for redpills. He says, “Vector was running a scam. If you’re born on the ground, you stay on the ground.” Turns out there’s no way out of the Scrapyard (the real world). In terms of our world, Doctor Ido is saying that instead of dreaming of a world in which you kill the rich and plunder their money, and whooooops also destroy your own nation in the process, it’s better to live a good life, take care of your family, stay connected to your people, and protect your borders. Be careful of stupid ideologies that make you hate yourself or your nation, no matter who is selling the ideology.

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I don’t want to dwell on Hugo’s fate, but he definitely experiences a post-Presidential election meltdown when he’s walking along the supply tube. It’s important to note that he was given a robot body because his head was disconnected from his body – meaning he was too much in his own head, and was fatally disconnected from reality. Such a shame! It’s really a grim reminder that instead of sitting back and laughing at these people on social media, we actually need to save them from the mind virus that makes them worship Zalem rather than connect with the Scrapyard of reality.

Ah, before I end my rant on Hugo, I have to point out the funniest part of the movie. One of the girls in Hugo’s crew asks her friend why he doesn’t like Alita. He says that she was a member of URM, a wielder of the deadly Panzer Kunst… basically a Martian space Nazi! In fact, wasn’t she sent to kill them?!? The girl’s redpilled response?

“Yeah, like three hundred years ago. Get over it!”

Imagine… a Hollywood film actually ridiculing the left’s eternal boogeyman, which they think is still out there, just waiting for the opportunity to get them!

 

THE HUNTER-WARRIORS

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“Before the Fall, there were police to stop criminals. Now the Factory pays us to do the dirty work.” Ido reveals the truth about the lawlessness thriving in the Scrapyard. This is the logical conclusion of the anti-police narrative that we are bombarded with daily: Mercenary thugs without any moral compunction are brought in and paid to stomp anything that doesn’t benefit the corporate overlords. Remember, the anti-police narrative doesn’t come out of a vacuum; it’s packaged for your consumption with an end goal in mind. Eventually a powerful corporation will step in with its own solution, and a population of bugmen will support it because they don’t understand the brutal reality of the streets and the necessity of violence.

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Note that in the Scrapyard, guns are illegal. In a lefty sci-fi story, making guns illegal would result in a utopian Star Trek future. In our right wing Alita tale, firearm monopolization creates an environment in which the strong prey on the weak with impunity. This is of course common sense to anyone who hasn’t been indoctrinated. Guns aren’t targeted by the elite because they want to reduce crime, they’re targeted because a corrupt ruling class always fears an uprising. In Alita’s world, Zapan and the other super-powered cyborgs who serve corporate interests use hand-to-hand weapons. Remember, only the strong can use hand-to-hand weapons. They aren’t for people like you – peasants and common laborers. Guns are divine tools of holy empowerment that even the weak can use to defend themselves. From that perspective, why in the world would bad guys want you to have them?

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There’s an interesting and sad scene where Alita tries to unite the hunter-warriors against a common foe. In the past, hunter-warrior types would have been drawn into the military and turned into team-players fighting on behalf of their nation, but in the dystopian Scrapyard, these rough guardians have become corporate whores who won’t do anything unless there’s money involved. There’s no unity, as they’ve been atomized. They are essentially “rugged individualists” disconnected from their own people. One could make the argument that they’re analogous to modern Republicans – they’re tough and their genes are functional, they’re natural survivors, but at the end of the day they serve Israel rather than their own community.

 

DOCTOR NOVA AND THE CULT OF THE WATCHERS

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For anyone who isn’t completely oblivious, there’s a blackmail cult running the human farm we live in, and one of its main symbols is an eye inside a pyramid. You see it all the time in movies and music videos, and it pops up more frequently every day. The arrest of Epstein, the fall of NXIVM, and all the “pizza” enthusiasts cleaning up their Twitter profiles and pushing the big tech left to squash pizza-related conversations on YouTube only makes it more and more obvious, but still, I guess at this point you either see it or you don’t. There’s a chunk of our Alita story that focuses on this, so if this next segment stretches your credulity, let’s just say that *some people* believe in this conspiracy, therefore, it has at least some symbolic merit.

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The villain behind all villains is Doctor Nova. Ido calls Nova “the watcher behind the eyes.” This is of course a direct reference to the all-seeing eye of the ancient death cult that has the world in its grip, and no, I’m not referring to the movie. Only conservatives tend to see this stuff, so it’s appropriate that our right-leaning tale has the all-seeing Eye omnipresent in the background. (The same goes for Lord of the Rings, another right wing tale which features the Eye of Sauron.) Note that Doctor Nova is capable of “possessing” those who have submitted to him, which is a direct reference to demonic or spiritual possession.

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Did you notice that even Alita wears a t-shirt with a triangle that has another tiny, off-center triangle inside of it? This could be a reference to the swirl or hypnotic spiral inside of a triangle, used by pedophiles and pizza enthusiasts to signal to one another (according to the FBI), or the shape could be construed as an eye within a pyramid, or it could be both. It may seem strange that our good-hearted hero Alita would wear a shirt like this, but note that she wears it when she’s listening to Hugo talk about his delusional dreams of getting into a better world. Hugo is effectively hypnotizing Alita and, since our story is right wing, that means it operates from the perspective that *no one is without sin*. This scene shows that anyone can be fooled by the ancient death cult before they wake up – even a hero!

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Vector, a figurehead of both the Factory and the black market, serves Doctor Nova, but Chiren, Ido’s ex-wife and former citizen of Zalem, also serves him. She has an interesting story arc. Vector tempts Chiren with a vision of a perfect world, and all she has to do in return is create monsters. She’s desperate to return to Zalem, so she submits. She later grows a conscience and lets Alita live, and when Vector (or Nova) asks her why, she says, “Because I’m a doctor (meaning: she preserves life), and a mother. Somehow I forgot that.” Remembering is the key to unraveling the lies of greedy psychopaths like Vector who serve Doctor Nova, because they always want you to forget who you are. Vector tries one more time to draw her into the dream of a better world, and she says, “What I want… it isn’t up there.” BAM! Just like that, she gives up on the foolish dream of a world without pain and struggle. This is the thing that all Commies struggle with. They just can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that you can’t make heaven on earth without hurting a lot of people. You can only try your best to live a good and moral life within the confines of reality (which is the Scrapyard in our tale).

 

ALITA’S STRENGTH COMES FROM THE PAST, NOT THE FUTURE

Alita has a special heart enhanced by technology from a bygone era, making it strong enough to power an entire city, according to Doctor Ido. Such technology can no longer be duplicated. Alita’s heart is strong because it was made before the Fall, that is, before corporate powers and the cult of diversity took over and turned civilization into a third-world shithole. What this means is that Alita’s strength comes from the past, from her history, which is the thing that right-wingers are so obsessed with discovering, and that left-wing types hate.

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It’s the difference between trying to remember or preserve history versus constructing history as you want it. Not only does Alita discover the Berserker body (the weapon of her people) inside a forgotten ship, but eventually she even retrieves her true self from the past. That is, of course, the only way to discover your true self: Not by daydreaming about a perfect self fit for a utopian future, but by taking an honest look at the path that formed you, warts and all. Culturally, understanding doesn’t come from tearing down statues and historical landmarks, but from studying why and how those landmarks were made – and not necessarily from the judgmental perspective of assumed superiority.

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But, back to Alita’s heart, and Ido’s assertion that it could provide power for the entire city. This means that as long as a person’s emotional center is in the right place, then they can uphold the foundation of civilization. Just as culture is made up of symbols, civilization is made up of its people’s emotional balance. If that emotional center is destroyed, then your people are fragmented, and you’re left with bugmen who can be manipulated, made to hate themselves, and made to hate their nation or even civilization in general. Just think back to how many indoctrinated people you’ve heard say they wish civilization would fall so that “something better can come out of it.” I’ve heard this from many people, which is odd, because when you take a look at history, “something better” doesn’t come out of the ruins of fallen civilizations.

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Also note how head-oriented Doctor Nova is. After Doctor Ido points out the remarkable power of Alita’s heart, the scene is immediately followed by one in which Doctor Nova says that Alita’s power is in her mind. Of course it’s a common position to stand in awe of the human mind, and this comes from both the right and the left, but ultimately I think Ido is right. A mind can be tricked, deluded, even indoctrinated. Emotions simply are, and nations rise or fall depending on their emotional centers. Also note the pride liberals feel regarding their academic degrees – it’s all head-oriented.

Regarding history, the basic left/right split is: Either turn the world into what you want it to be (the left) versus seeing the bitter truths about the world and accepting things as they are (the right). The left’s focus on turning the world into what they want it to be is why they talk about “progress” and frequently mention the “current year” as if they are on a timetable, and they expect cultural changes to stay on schedule. The right’s focus on seeing things as they are, including the flaws in human nature, is why they often mention taking the “redpill” and calling people “sheeple” for not waking up to reality, and why they obsess over untangling the threads of history to understand the modern era. 

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CONCLUSION

Alita: Battle Angel is a breath of fresh air after the past few years of Hollywood force-feeding us a lefty stew of Things We Must Believe, including superhuman Karens who will curb stomp any man who dares stand between her and the manager. But this film isn’t perfect. Other than the main characters, the costume design is freaking awful. There are people dressed up like you or me walking around in the Scrapyard five hundred years from now. How is that possible? Unfortunately we may see more “budget” costume design as Hollywood is forced to tighten its belt. People aren’t going to the movies anymore, so the trend of making movies bigger and bolder with each passing year may be at an end. Of course, Hollywood could turn the money-printing machine back on any time they want, but they would have to give up on the weird lefty shit that they’re obsessed with. And that’s not going to happen!

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And keep in mind, all of the right-leaning stuff in this film is completely accidental. I guarantee you that everyone on set considered suicide on the fateful night of the presidential election. Even though the Scrapyard is a dump of violent diversity, where people would inevitably form ethnic enclaves that don’t communicate with one another except through force, the Alita movie tries to show people smiling and enjoying themselves. Even though the story is inherently right wing, it was still made within the milieu of left wing Hollywood where forced diversity is worshipped and entire civilizations are gleefully sacrificed on the altar of progress *just because*.

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Even though Alita: Battle Angel has taken heat because it has actual fans (rather than the fans and reviews manufactured for the benefit of Captain Marvel), it’s interesting to note that Blade Runner 2049 was way more right-leaning (again, most likely by accident) and yet it hasn’t been targeted by the thoughtpolice. Rather than a multicultural dump filled with smiling faces, Blade Runner 2049 (jokingly referred to as Pol: The Movie) depicted a world in which a social outcast straight white male was heckled as he made his way through a gauntlet of diversity. He worked to uphold civilization and was hated for it. His wife was so trad, she wasn’t even real. He obsessively pieced together his past, often looking like a complete conspiracy nut. He even got into a testosterone-fueled fist-fight with his “dad”!

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Still, mainstream media hasn’t done any hit pieces on Blade Runner 2049’s right-leaning narrative because it wasn’t released at the same time as Captain Marvel, thus it did not challenge the diversity narrative by getting in the way of its revenue.

 

BONUS MATERIAL: ONE LAST WILD IDEA

Actually, I’ve remained level-headed throughout this piece (right?), but I just had a wild idea that may or may not be true. I want to throw it out there just to see if I can get a reaction. The idea is: All stories about time travel are inherently left-leaning (because you’re editing the past in order to control the future), and all stories about amnesia are inherently right-leaning (because you’re piecing together historical truth, identity, and even the threads of a conspiracy theory).

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Star Trek and Harry Potter, both extremely lefty, contain plenty of time travel. I wouldn’t have thought that Back to the Future was lefty until recently, when I went back to watch the second one, and was shocked to see Biff Tannen as a stand-in for President Trump turning America into some kind of gun-slinging warzone where a teacher is hunted like an animal – a liberal fever dream based on histrionic fear of authority.

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As for conservative stories of amnesia, other than Alita, off the top of my head there’s Memento, about a man’s quest for revenge against the person who destroyed his family (which includes crime, family, conspiracy, and bloody justice – all right-leaning themes), and he has to face the awful truth about himself (he is flawed, which is also a very conservative theme). There’s Silent Hill 2, a video game about a man trying to put his family back together and has to come to terms with the fact that he destroyed his own family (history, family, the bitter truth – all conservative themes). There’s also Robocop, about a family man and normal-cop who becomes a robo-cop after he is killed and resurrected (!!!) and puts together the pieces of his past by blowing away criminals. The story isn’t friendly to the free market, but then again, not every conservative is a corporate whore.

Am I completely crazy with this idea? I can’t think of any story that destroys the pattern!

Facebook Content Moderators Live in Hell… Time to Celebrate!

By Kyle B. Stiff

I just found some pure comedy gold wandering the internets! There’s a story about the people who moderate content on facebook, and if you’ve ever wondered why your feed is relentlessly boring – it’s their fault! The story can be read HERE. It’s worth a read if you like free speech and free thought, because it turns out that the people who need their content moderated end up doing the job of moderating content (because why wouldn’t they?) and then, of course, they get traumatized because they have to look at spicy videos all day long. They’re all softies constantly on the verge of a panic attack because they saw a spicy video that they can’t handle, but they don’t see the irony in the fact that they are the people who require content to be strictly controlled. Their dumb job is their karma and they don’t even know it.

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You want to make my facebook feed boring? Good for you… you get to live in hell!

These moderators most likely believe that a normal person can accidentally see one spicy video or one spicy meme too many and then become a violent psychopath. This dumb idea is so prevalent that once you realize people believe it, you’ll spot it all the time. And the belief that people are infinitely malleable comes from the unexamined belief that people are products of their environment. We’re not. Our personality is front-loaded from the get-go and we turn our environment into a reflection of what’s going on inside of us.

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This is probably why you hear a lot of talk about how bad people are, how un-progressive they are, they’re a plague on the earth, etc. There’s a war on for your mind and we constantly disappoint those who have a controlling mentality, because you can only get people to go along with your idea of right and wrong for a short amount of time. Pull people along one way, and they’ll inevitably pull back the other way. This is endlessly frustrating for domineering do-gooders, but it’s actually one of the best things about the human species. Our impulse to stick to our true nature protects us from a nightmarish timeline in which we become the puppets of megalomaniacs for all eternity. Fortunately those timelines never last. What’s more common is that some people will get involved in a cult and everyone else will relentlessly make fun of them. Humor is a reminder to not go too far in your quest to carve an image of yourself that’s so perfect that you want to worship it. The idol always looks more goofball than you realize.

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One thing I’ve noticed about myself, and maybe it’s true for other people who are drawn to spicy videos, is an obsession with the ugly truth. The world can be pretty horrifying and I guess it kind of makes sense to create a cushion, and hell I like to be comforted too, but I hate the feeling that I’m being lied to or that I’m not allowed to sit at the Big Boys’ Table because I’m too weak to handle the scary ideas. I want to know the scary things. It’s a lot healthier to watch a spicy video about a shooting over a mattress left in an alley, or even the awful execution of those two poor Scandinavian girls in Morocco than it is not knowing how violent the world can be. Life is rough and it’s good to be reminded of that, even if from a safe distance.

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Another thing about spicy videos. I think the people who want to limit the public’s access to spicy videos have a bizarre fear that people actually enjoy them. Maybe some sick fucks genuinely enjoy them, maybe they pop some popcorn and get cozy on the couch while watching Haitian Machete Execution Compilation #7: The Un-Legging Edition, but for most people who are drawn to spicy videos, it’s more of a nauseating fascination. You watch it once, you get the gist of it, you learn the lesson, and then you never need to see it again.

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But these poor dingalings in the article, they’re so sensitive that spicy videos end up battering their consciousness and shredding their auras. The freak-out incidents alone make the article worth reading, with people threatening each other in the parking lot or having sex in the bathroom because reasons. It would be sad if they were doing something good for humanity, making sacrifices for others, etc, but since you know they think the human mind is a bonsai tree and it’s their job to prune it and shape it, it leads to a lot of unintentional comedy. They don’t have a hunger for truth, but rather, an intense desire for comfort.

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Notice that the writer of the article never questions whether social media needs to be censored, he just plays his sad violin over the office stooges who have to do the censoring. “Won’t you think of the poor censors?” he seems to ask. This attitude is increasingly common among journalists – a lack of self-awareness regarding how deeply enmeshed they are in their own worldview. He doesn’t understand that nobody gives a fwack about somebody getting paid to silence you in order to bolster the illusion that you live in a safe and progressive world, and anyone who says otherwise is a regressive meany who like totally needs to shut up already (omg)! The writer of this piece is the sort of bugman who would have absolutely no qualms with living in a world in which an “elite” class, or even an AI, controlled all of our outlets of free speech, scrubbing everything clean and making sure nobody is ever offended or sees something that challenges their belief in a world without sharp edges, and of course doxxing and non-personing anyone who doesn’t want Earth to become… well, what every place becomes when people with good intentions gain power! (Hint: It rhymes with “third-world shithole.”)

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Journalists don’t like the “learn to code” meme, but if they keep believing that everyone but them should be censored, then pretty soon the “learn to code” meme is going to be upgraded to “learn to suicide”!

Left and Right Working Together?

I was watching Daredevil last night and I had this idea about politics, and it’s not super well-thought out but I thought I’d run it by you guys. The idea is that conservatives and liberals both have their own spheres of expertise, and arguments happen when they overstep their boundaries and get in each other’s way. I had this idea of nations (or even villages or whatever) as a soft center with a hard defensive ring around it.

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A liberal’s sphere would be the soft center. The liberal makes sure the village (or whatever) is nice to be in. Everybody has a good time, life isn’t extremely unfair, people have rights, there’s public works and projects you can put money into, artists get looked after, the old and the weak are taken care of, stuff like that. A conservative’s sphere would be the hard outer ring, and their job would be to defend the soft center. Being hardasses, sending out warnings to outsiders who get too close, making judgment calls on who should be killed or detained, deciding how raids should be carried out, questioning ideas or plans made by people outside the ring who want to come inside the ring, enforcing rules with the right amount of severity so that the group is protected, that would be their area.

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Both groups are perfectly suited for their areas, and totally unsuited for the other’s area. A liberal working in the outer defensive ring would let their empathy run away with them and let outsiders do what they want to the outer ring, thus endangering the entire village. A conservative who dicks around in the soft center would start trying to “lay down the law” on shit he has no idea about, like reproductive systems, Dungeons and Dragons, who’s bangin’ who in an unorthodox manner, what music people can listen to, and pretty soon the soft center would become hellish and unfit to live in.

I think this might be a good system because no one “side” has to beat the other “side”. As it is now, liberals and conservatives are in a desperate deathmatch, but it’s like an MMA fighter against a WWF wrestler in a rap battle. They’re thinking and acting using completely different sets of rules because they see the world in completely different ways. No side can ever “beat” the other side; the only thing they can do is ramp up the intensity of the argument and make things uncomfortable for someone like me. Of course, in order for an idea like this to work, people with opposing views (actually, opposing brain types, I think) would have to be able to chill out and see the value of the opposing side. That doesn’t mean you have to “give in” to the other side, you don’t even have to agree that they might be right, you just have to see their potential value to the tribe.

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Like I was saying, I was watching Daredevil (beginning of season 2 so, SPOILER ALERT and also DON’T SPOIL IT FOR ME) and saw the incredible second battle between Daredevil and the Punisher which is followed by a great argument that made me extremely uncomfortable but was so inspiring. Of course the whole thing is Daredevil’s “don’t kill people” philosophy versus Punisher’s “kill bad people so they don’t kill good people” philosophy. Punisher said something incredibly insightful: “You don’t get to pick what makes you whole.” Bam! Right there. It doesn’t matter how much Daredevil argues with him, or how sane and rational he thinks he is, in the end, the Punisher is made for living in the outer defensive ring of the village. He won’t feel alive unless he knows he’s protecting the soft center though incredible acts of unbelievable violence. The series does a great job of showing how disturbing the Punisher’s life is, with crime scene photos of mutilated bodies covered in gore, which is also counterbalanced by seeing criminals running and hiding and fearing for their life (loved seeing that one guy shit his pants when he realized the Punisher really was going to walk into a hospital with a shotgun and blast him – there was nowhere he could hide).

Daredevil made some good arguments too, though – as long as you live in the soft center. There is always good in people, and you have to trust your species and see the good in them. Everyone deserves a chance. Of course, his argument is a little awkward, because he’s fighting crime but not killing anyone, which only makes sense if you have superpowers (most people don’t), and doesn’t really work on the outer defensive ring.

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Oh yeah, I also thought this might be a good system to work within just in case of alien invasion, which I think is inevitable. And yes I mean the UFOs from Mars variety (“They said alien and Vasquez thought they said illegal alien…”). It would be better if our different brain types (in this case, liberal and conservative) each knew their appropriate area so that we could work better together against alien invasion, rather than let aliens play both sides against the other while they divide our resources among themselves. I see people having meltdowns now, but in the future, every living person will live deep underground and they’ll look at old photos of us strutting around on the surface of the planet, and while they work on assembly lines to make laser rifles and mini-nukes they will wish that they could have lived in our time – yes, the very time that everyone is currently complaining about. They will wonder what everyone was bitching and moaning about because they will be worried about creatures burrowing down from the surface and possibly attacking one of the child care centers, which is the worst possible scenario for any underground bunker city.

A VR Sim for Those Who Think that Politics Is Real

Game developers should make a virtual reality simulation for people who enjoy the endorphin rush of outrage.

The simulation would have to be so engaging that it draws everybody deeply entrenched in the cult of politics out of everybody else’s way. Imagine if facebook or twitter were filled with people living unique lives with interesting perspectives! Instead, both forums are a series of endless arguments and troll-wars and preachy moralizing between the two most bottom-of-the-barrel, played out perspectives that ever simplified the unimaginably complex human narrative: the old liberal versus conservative paradigm. What a shame!

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VR Sim: Politics Is Real would be a two-disc set, with one set of games for liberals and another set for conservatives. Pick your poison! There would be many games on each disc. Here are some game ideas, in no particular order.

For liberals, a game called RE-EDUCATION CAMP. The point of this game would be to find people who are not one hundred percent on board with a futuristic utopian society and put them in re-education camps. The guests at the camps must be turned into good human beings through hard labor, food restriction, and challenging indoctrination mini-games.

For conservatives, a war sim called CALL OF JESUS: MODERN WARGOD. This highly popular game would be a perfect way to get ultra-conservatives from the world’s most annoying religions – Christianity, Islam, and Judaism – and stick them in a world where they can kill one another over and over and over again while leaving everybody else free to relax and read a book or take a dog on a walk.

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For liberals, a game called ESCAPE FROM KITCHEN. In this game, a female protagonist has been chained to an oven by an evil husband who guards the exit. The player will have to use their wits to avoid making her captor anything to eat, thus starving him to death while avoiding starvation herself. Once the cell phone item has been found, the player will be able to eat food by downloading it from Pinterest photos. Other bonus power-ups: college diploma, CEO suit, and abortion machine.

For conservatives, a game called DON’T BE GAY. The point of this game would be to navigate a labyrinth full of homoerotic imagery and tantalizingly forbidden sights, but still make the choice to be a straight man. Successfully getting through the labyrinth would require you to move away from monsters that look like physically fit, scantily clad young men, and yet somehow not have sex with them. Occasionally the player would find an “assault rifle” power-up that would allow them to rack up points by shooting homosexuals, sort of like when Pac-Man ate a magical bean or whatever and was able to eat ghosts for a limited time.

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For liberals, a game called FANTASTIC RACIST VOYAGE. In this game, racism has nearly been eradicated, but a few molecules of racism still exist deep inside one single human being. Players are shrunk down and injected into the body of this individual, and they must cooperate to hunt down the last few molecules of racism and blast them before they can grow into racism-cancer and spread from host to host, once again turning humanity into a bunch of shitty, awful racists. The player will only have about five minutes to hunt down this facet of humanity that has slowly formed over hundreds of thousands of years, so it will be a really pulse-pounding race against time.

For conservatives, a game called FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE BROTHERHOOD. In this game you enroll in a fraternity and engage in a series of drinking games while avoiding taking any classes or learning anything about the knowledge your species has accumulated over thousands of years. At the end of the game you become so inebriated that you can barely even see the family business you inherit.

For liberals, a game called LOVE-COP. “Part man, part liberal, all cop,” is the tagline. In this game, the player would be a police officer patrolling a dangerous neighborhood armed only with hugs and good intentions. I’m sort of drawing a blank on this one… other than crawling into a sewer drain and waiting until your shift is over, I’m not sure how the player would survive. Ultimately I think the game would turn into a shooter, but with little hearts rather than bullets taking down violent perpetrators.

For conservatives, a game called ALWAYS A REBEL (SOMETIMES). In this game, every stage begins with a rousing quote from the freedom-loving founding fathers. The player will be filled with a sense that they should fight to pursue happiness based on their individual will. But then the gameplay will juxtapose that with a grueling level-grinding system in places like military bases, corporate offices, and churches. The classic gameplay design “A jumps, B shoots” will be replaced with “A means ‘yes sir!’ and B proudly tows the line.” How much of a rules-obeying lickspittle can you be for your corporate masters? Are you willing to defend freedom and human dignity by shining your military officer’s shoes like a good boy? Gameplay will do another 180 during boss-fights against pacifists, hippies, people from technologically undeveloped nations unlucky enough to be sitting on valuable resources, and women who ruin football season by speaking out against wealthy rapist athletes. In those instances, players will have to ruthlessly smash any opposition by generally being a shitty person.

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For liberals, a game called GENDERFLUX. Since gender isn’t based on biology, but on social conditioning, players will have to give a child the freedom to choose their own gender by indoctrinating them into believing they are a different gender than they appear to be. Keeping toy guns and cars away from boys, and dolls and cooking sets and anything pink away from girls, is a must in this Super Mario-inspired run-and-jump game that shows you how shitty you are for assuming Mario is a man and the Princess is a woman.

For conservatives, a military shooter with the challenge rating turned all the way down. The player is a soldier equipped with modern weapons and dozens of heavily equipped allies, and even tanks and helicopters, in an endless war against outnumbered enemies equipped with Stone Age weapons or a few shoddy firearms cobbled together during the Cold War. If the player ever feels the least bit challenged, he can call in an airstrike from a stealth bomber flying so fast and so far above the playing field that the enemy cannot even target them. All boss fights are merely accidental friendly fire incidents due to some levels being so choked by friendly units. Every stage begins with a briefing given by a military commander who has an extreme right-wing Israeli politician whispering in his ear.

For liberals, a game called EVERY CULTURE IS GREAT EXCEPT YOURS. A game inspired by Civilization in which players don’t manage their own civilization, but everyone else’s. Players will work hard to promote and cultivate computer-controlled opponents who gratefully accept resources and charity workers. Players will have to ignore the advancements of their own civilization with a series of eye-rolling and head-shaking as they accumulate Guilt Points. The player can gain Smug Self-Satisfaction points for ignoring or downplaying the atrocities committed by other civilizations.

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For conservatives, a game called ONLY AMERICA EXISTS. In this Civilization-inspired game, computer controlled opponents do not look like humans, but instead look like the resources they have. The player already begins the game with an incredible array of military units, but the challenge of turning the whole world into one giant red, white, and blue paradise comes from your own limp-wristed, gutless, whiny civilian populace, who have to be carefully managed. Getting resources won’t be easy. Instead of developing Achievements or Great Wonders, the player will have to develop a research tree that includes carefully controlled narratives, media manipulations, and Political Hero units who can say incredibly simple jingoistic phrases that will get people excited about stealing resources from other nations – or, rather, liberating foreign people from tyrants who oppose freedom and democracy.

The trailer for the liberal set of games would show a group of Democratic politicians hugging each other and petting a group of deer peacefully making their way through the senate building. “Let’s pass a bill that will create world peace and end hunger and equalize equality equally everywhere!” one of the peaceful Democrats would say. Then a terrible shadow would fill the room and a Republican with glowing red eyes would say, “I’LL GO ALONG WITH THAT… BUT ONLY IF WE EDIT THE BILL, EVER SO SLIGHTLY, TO INCLUDE DEATH CAMPS FOR ALL POOR PEOPLE AND MINORITIES! HA HA HAAAA!!!”

Well dear reader, the flow of ideas has suddenly ended, so I’ll end this here. If you hated this, please let me know.